Stay Together Or Breakup?
5 days ago This exercise might lead you to believe that it's time to leave your partner. If you have children, remember to think about them first before you make any big changes. Whatever your situation, it's important to realize that it takes two people to create a great relationship. You cannot change it and make it. "The person with whom you choose to go through life can even determine what you achieve in your professional life. The right partner makes all the difference. It's always tough to decide when to leave versus when to stay and work it out - your emotions make it tough to be objective," stated a professional matchmaker. 29 Nov Those of you out there who have left long term relationships will know: It is one of the hardest things in the world to do. The execution of a separation.
Unless there is physical danger in staying in the relationship, I generally advise my clients to stay until they understand and heal their end of the relationship system. We take ourselves with us when we leave, so leaving without healing the fears and beliefs that got us into an unloving or abusive relationship will likely result in another relationship failure. When you are able to take loving care of yourself and make yourself happy, and if your relationship still suffers from one or more of the following symptoms, then it may be time to leave.
Physical Abuse Most of us know that it is dangerous to stay in a relationship with a physically abusive partner. No matter how much you feel you love your partner, and no matter how often he or she says they are sorry after being physically abusive, ongoing physical abuse is dangerous and has this web page to do with love.
If your partner physically harms you, it's time to leave. Of course, leaving is often hard, so it is likely that you will need help with this.
In fact, leaving may cause even more danger, so you need to make sure you will be safe once you make the decision to leave. Once you leave, it's important to not have contact with your partner except in a safe situation such as a therapy office.
If your partner is open to therapy and anger management, there may be hope for the relationship, but many abusive people are not open to honestly facing themselves. Again, it's vital that you heal your end of this relationship system before moving on.
When to Quit on Someone (or Leave a Bad Relationship!)
If your abusive partner is willing to attend therapy for themselves and with you, there may be a chance When To Stay Or Leave A Relationship healing this relationship, but if he or she is closed and unwilling to learn, grow and heal, then you need to accept that no matter how wonderful and loving you are, or how much you change your end of your relationship system, he or she is unlikely to change.
You do not have control over getting another person to see what they are doing and decide to change. Accepting your powerlessness over your partner is a big step in dealing with your end of the system. If you are with a partner who has children and you discover that he or she is abusing their children, go here you need to take action to protect the child or children, as well as to leave.
You are the advocate for your children and their children, and you need to do all you can to create a safe environment for them. If you find out when your children are adults that one or more were sexually abused by your partner, you need to consider leaving. Staying with a partner who has sexually abused your child is extremely unsupportive of your child and of yourself -- since you cannot be in integrity while staying with a partner who has harmed your child.
Sometimes partners can remain in a relationship but legally separate finances, so that money cannot be used in any way against you. If you have been enabling your partner financially, then you have some inner work to do to heal your end of the system.
Substance Addiction s If you partner is an alcoholic or a drug addict and this is causing you pain, then it may be time to leave. Again, you need to accept your powerlessness over him or her and focus on taking loving care of yourself.
If your partner is addicted to food in such a way that he or she is causing himself or herself illness and expecting you to take care of them, you might want to consider leaving.
Affairs An affair does not always need to be the end of the relationship. Much healing can occur if both people are open to learning about themselves and each other in the wake of an affair. However, if your partner has constant affairs and this is painful to you, you might want to consider leaving. Having constant affairs indicates the likelihood of sex addiction, which has many ramifications in a relationship. Also, this can be dangerous for you, relative to STDs. Different Paths Partners sometimes go off on different paths.
Often, this is not a problem, but sometimes it becomes a major issue. If you are learning and growing and your partner is not, you may find that you have no way to connect with your partner. Some people can find the connection they need with friends, but if this lack of connection with your partner feels very lonely for you, you might consider moving on. Does he or she try to thwart your growth and dim your excitement about your direction in your life?
We all want and need support for what brings us joy and fulfillment, and more info your partner tries to diminish you or hold you back, you might consider leaving. Different Needs for Intimacy There is no right amount of emotional or sexual intimacy in a relationship, but sometimes partners' needs are so different that it causes much loneliness for one of the partners.
If you feel very lonely in your relationship, this may be a sign that it is time to move on. However, I want to emphasize once again that before you decide to leave a significant relationship, you first need to here your own end of the system. If you are needy and demanding, you might be pushing your partner away.
It's very important to work on healing your own neediness and then see where things are between you and your partner. One Foot Out the Door -- Fear of Commitment If you want a committed relationship and your partner is continually threatening to end the relationship, or shows other signs of a fear of commitment, you might want to move on.
Sometimes the stuff of life keeps you in longer than you should be there. However, if your partner has constant affairs and this is painful to you, you might want to consider leaving. That may be because the two of you do not feel like a family in a good way. Waitdo you consider stayingbecause leaving would require sacrificing your reputation, disappointing people you loveand "abandoning ship" are not the legacy you want to leave behind? This Blogger's Books and Other Items from
A partner with one foot out the door can create much anxiety for a partner who is ready for a committed relationship. However, if you keep attracting unavailable people, you might want to question your own fear of commitment.
It's easy to think you are available and the other person is not, but if you find yourself not attracted to truly available people, When To Stay Or Leave A Relationship need to do your own inner work to explore your own unavailability. I want to stress again that, no matter what happens in the end, unless there is physical danger, staying in the relationship while you explore and heal your end of the relationship system will serve you well. Once you have healed your end of your relationship system, it will become very clear to you whether or not your relationship has a chance of becoming loving and caring, or whether it is time to move on.
To begin learning how to love and connect with yourself so that you can connect with others, take advantage of our free Inner Bonding eCourseand join Dr. Margaret Paul for her Day at-home Course: Phone or Skype sessions with Dr. Connect with Margaret on Facebook: Inner Bondingand Facebook: Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you.
Financial abuse Financial abuse can include: Your partner refusing to work, after having agreed to work and contribute to the household Your partner over-spending and putting you into debt. Your partner gambling and putting you into debt. Your When To Stay Or Leave A Relationship using money to control you. Follow Margaret Paul, Ph.
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