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Staying Friends With An Ex Isn't Always A Bad Idea: Hidden Pros And Cons To Get Back Together

Why you should stay friends with your ex and how to do it |

22 Apr I call my friend Ashley the "Ex-Boyfriend Whisperer." I call her this because no matter how bad any of her breakups have been, four months after the split, Ashley and her former beau have moved safely into the friend zone. This hasn't happened just once or twice. A few fluke friendships can happen to. 12 Mar I'm still friends with my ex and you should be with yours too. OK, maybe hand holding is a bit much (Picture: Liberty Antonia Sadler for There are supposedly rules when it comes to ending a relationship, but this isn't one of them. Often, the demise and disintegration of a romance is a clear sign. 20 Jan I went to a dinner party at a friend's place recently and was surprised to see her ex-boyfriend among the guests. Even more surprising: He was with his new girlfriend. Afterward, I asked my pal, “What's it like to spend time with him now that he's with someone else?” Her answer: “Whatever romantic feelings I.

Even the cleanest breakups can be the cause of hard feelings for both parties. We began to understand ourselves better and I felt good having him around. The experience made me think about the vastly different approaches women take when it comes to exes.

There's a quote you might have seen floating around social media: For a lot of us, that's a pretty popular sentiment. The data variesbut numerous surveys point to the fact that most of us don't stay friends with our exes post-breakup. Once something is over, it can be painful to have constant reminders of what used to be. For some of us, the remaining digital and emotional ties only encourage our most obsessive, Facebook-stalking behaviors.

And yet, for those navigating the murky waters of staying in touch with an ex, it's actually a great sign.

When you should (and shouldn’t) stay friends with an ex - The Washington Post

Those who can stay friends with a former love are the most mature, satisfied partners among us — and the ones coming from romances that were built on real friendship. Friends above all else: The basis of the romantic relationship makes a huge difference as to whether you can stay friends. If you're surreptitiously texting your ex under the table to avoid your friends' admonishing looks, chances are the connection is an unhealthy one.

Above the table, and you're probably being more honest about why you really want to keep your ex around — and your friends will totally approve.

The best-case scenario is when the relationship itself was built on a solid friendship. In these cases, exes are already comfortable with strictly platonic terrain.

It just felt like old times," Abby said.

And maybe fall back in love. You can ask him if he is, but be warned that this can push him towards irrational anger or sadness. Post Comment Your name. Are there any good reasons to stay friends with your ex?

Having been friends first isn't necessarily a requirement, but a foundation outside of sex or romance is. While a satisfying relationship might prompt "Why aren't you guys still together? Getting to keep the best parts: If the anger and hurt can be overcome, there's great comfort in keeping an ex in your life.

Perhaps your ex is the only one who can truly nail a Dave Chappelle impression or the only one who understands just how accomplished you felt when you got your first raise. For Meg, her four-year relationship with Thomas ended on a mutually happy note.

The two had simply fallen out of love. Click years after their breakup, Meg says they talk on the phone at least once every two months and attempt in-person visits about once a year. Respecting the person, without the relationship: Ideally, staying friends with our exes means honoring the time we spent getting to know a person we still respect and feel close to.

Should I Stay Friends With My Ex Boyfriend

That can be difficult to do. It can also involve defining social media boundaries.

My Ex Wants To Stay Friends: Good Or Bad Idea When Still In Love After A Breakup

Timing or other things brought our romances to a close, not the connection. It means the relationship itself was a supremely mature one, built on mutual respect and closeness. It means that despite the relationship's end, it was the kind worth repeating in the future. Giphy Friends above all else: Related stories by this author. Transgender women explain the realities of interacting with cisgender men. Get the story to fuel your conversation today.

What It Really Means if You Can Stay Friends with Your Ex

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Should I Stay Friends With My Ex Boyfriend