Be A Man! Stand Up For Yourself!
How—And How Not—to Stand Up for Yourself | Psychology Today
31 Mar Standing up for yourself in your relationship is necessary when you are being disrespected. A healthy relationship needs boundaries so set them. It can be challenging to stand up for ourselves in certain difficult circumstances or relationships. Here are some steps you can take to reclaim your personal power and heal your relationships. Move through the fear by speaking your truth to the people who matter most to you. The act of expressing yourself to the world is where the magic begins.
It has taken me eighteen years of marriage, two kids, and twenty-plus years of healing to realize I have been afraid of being myself link my husband. It has taken me decades to step into my power and become the fiercely alive, joyful, and creative expression I am today.
But I am sad and tired. I have everything I am supposed to have, I have done everything I was supposed to do, and I have achieved so much, but still there is a hole in my soul.
Yet, when I slide out of my confused mind for a bit, into the now of me sitting in the little sanctuary I created, where I sort out my dreams, I am truly at peace. If you can model this sort of compassion, others may follow suit. If said person tells you that you need to grow out your hair, cut it short.
Am I afraid to bring the bigger love into my life, to feel joy? Am I meant to suffer? Yet, when I slide out of my confused mind for a bit, into the now of me sitting in the little sanctuary I created, where I sort out my dreams, Here am truly at peace. The meanings and troubles, the disagreements and polarized values that plague my marriage with tension and keep me from deeper love disappear in a poof of sunrays through my big window.
The divine, creative, fiercely alive woman and healer would emerge many years later, so now I wonder, who the heck got married?
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I look up at my husband after he screams at our son for making his sister shriek by sitting on her, and I cower into the three-year-old little girl I have been fighting for forty years to not be. Who is that little girl, and why is link so afraid all of a sudden? I am braver and have cultivated the awareness it takes and the practices necessary to be with people who are on a different path, who may not be growing along with me, or worse, who criticize me for the way I live.
It seems like it took forever to get to the place where I am not willing to compromise my self-worth, but the rewards have been great. I received much help over the years to do this simple thing. My rituals and practices have included therapies that opened my heart and energy, enhanced my awareness, and helped me discover my self-worth, such as:.
When I opened up the blocks and the fear that kept me from expressing my voice, a whole new world opened up to me. Challenge the negative thoughts that sabotage your efforts to speak up, and fight for what you want in your relationships. Your fear voice will come up with all sorts of reasons not to speak your mind. Some of them may be valid concerns; if you fear that speaking up may rock the boat, know that it possibly will.
Unless you want to repress your true self indefinitely, it's a risk worth taking. As I recognized my fear voice more and more, and got comfortable differentiating her from the me that was the intuitive, joyful healer, I was able to give her a name: Now, whenever that voice pipes up, I call her out.
That separates me from the noise going on in my head and the meanings Just click for source give to the situations that make me feel Standing Up For Yourself In Relationships.
When I notice Martha doing the talking, I detach. With awareness, I choose to believe and act differently in my conversations with people. There are many ways link discipline your mind and detach from the negative thoughts that control you. Feel fear as a bodily sensation, keeping you small or preventing you from expressing the you that you desire to be in your relationships.
To be myself with my husband meant I had to do this over and over again, and I did, learning along the way as the triggers got quieter and my confidence grew.
Now, when I feel that tightness in my chest, I know it means I have a chance to express myself and do a tiny bit of healing. This is the choice that matters the most.
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Most days it was easier to just stay confused about this, playing out the foggy drama of my fears. Getting clear about what I wanted, staying awake to my fear, and loving myself enough to make a choice was way more complicated and difficult than being confused. Get clear about what you want. Start making choices, be aware of your thoughts, and move through the fear by speaking your truth to the people who matter most to you.
The simple act of expressing yourself read more the world is where the magic begins. Upset woman image via Shutterstock. More about her healing, writing and kicking passions: Thanks Laura for sharing the story.
You should not be afraid of disapproval or of hurting their feelings if you call out to their behavior. It's not about me. Replies to my comment.
Great advice; well-written article. It is interesting to see how unaware I was of not being expressive, living in the illusion that I am the most expressive person in the world.
Stand Up For Yourself Without Being A Jerk
I was only deceiving myself because I was too afraid to confront the other, but most importantly myself, with the feelings I am experiencing. Communication, seems so easy, but so difficult to apply. First of all with oneself, then with the others. You are so right! Seems easy, but it is not! It is a practice, like awareness, that grows and builds.
We can look forward to what it will bring us, but in the meantime, we must be disciplined in it! Naming my fear voice was one of the most profound things I ever did for gaming Dating Site For Those Over 50 the awareness…it was a game changer!! I had to distance myself from my entire family and go through a lot of hell with my husband when I discovered my true self. But feeling alive and full is worth all that sacrifice.
Who are THEY friends with? I like the idea of treating it as a person you would not associate with when given the choice. Which, of course, you have. As always, absolutely beautiful, Laura. Thank you for this inspiring Standing Up For Yourself In Relationships thought-provoking piece. Thank you for this article.
I wish I would have spoke up more in my marriage. I am committed to making changes in my life so fear does not control my relationships.
I will definitely be looking for some of the authors you mentioned above. Thanks for the comment. The awareness of your fear voice really is a game changer. This stuff goes for ANY relationship, especially those friendships you have had the longest, where the person may not recognize the changes you have made. Thank you for posting this article! I feel I will never do right by her, she likes to run the show and better keep up junior. Much more to explain, …. This article describes my marriage for the past 3 years!
I am scared to truly be myself and tell him how I really feel all the time, so I react negatively to many things and it is ruining our relationship.
It is ruining our marriage. I am scared to be myself. I can never have him just sit down with me while i express and having him understand even if its nothing to worry about. That is totally the relationship with my husband. Except we have been together for going on Standing Up For Yourself In Relationships years.
We are fighting right now and we both shut down or he get after me because I dont talk enough. I am afraid to stand up for myself.
I fear being physically beat if I do. I was beat as a child and every time I disagreed with my father, he would beat me. Even for minor things. Today, instead of standing up for myself and my daughter for swimming near see more boat launch, I cowered in fear and looked on in regret and awe when my friends stood up for me.
I want her to be able to stand up for herself, instead of being pushed around all the time. So I need to change myself, to be her example. But this fear just grips me, paralyzed me from saying anything. Especially with my toddler there. You know what you fear and why. You also know what has caused it. You are already ready to change. Forgive your father for what he did and realise that today you have all the power in your life.
Feel the fear, and do it anyway. What you fear may happen, let it happen, do it anyway. Stand up for yourself. Choose to be you. You have the power. My issue is that my voice is soooo loud and blunt that it comes off as rude and cruel which is not my Standing Up For Yourself In Relationships.
This causes me to over think constantly and at the end like a volcano I erupt and I hurt people even more. I am a very logical person most of the time yet I have no filter. For example if someone comes to me to talk or vent, yet what they are super upset about is something that they themselves caused, I would normally try to listen and help them see the other side. Quit your bitching and do something about it otherwise you will never be happy.
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